Featured Reviews

1. Somebody in the next room would NOT STOP MOUTHBREATHING.

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   90

2. The Penne a la Arabiata in the canteen was very disappointing, the plate was hot and the trays were all wet.

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   47

3. A *lot* of people in this neighborhood like to wear white. It’s kind of weird, but whatever. Might have something to do with the place being haunted. Saw some people acting like they were getting choked out by a ghost.

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   27

4. I enjoyed my stay but I had to take one star away for all the pew pew sounds I was hearing

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   22

5. Dropped my phone down the rubbish chute, do not go down there I repeat do not go down there.

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   15

6. Heard some other guests talking about a really great nearby area, Cell Block 1138, but I couldn’t find it. Otherwise, I had a pleasant stay.

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   10

7. Mood lighting won’t be to everyone’s taste. Fun pool was a squeeze but the kids loved it!

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   9

8. The description is accurate, but our stay was a little scary.

   I think there must be a shooting range or training facility nearby for the blind. Blasters going off constantly and the lasers are just bouncing off everything. Bring protective gear, unless youre actually the target then youre safe HA!

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   6

9. The whole damn neighborhood blew up before I go there! Twice.

   Minus 5 Stars

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   6

10. Lost a hand opening the door.

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    6

11. A hard bed, no sheets, no pillows, no windows or bathroom was bad enough for the price. But posters of internet troll William Shatner on the wall was too disturbing and dark for my taste.

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    6

12. Ok, let’s get the worst of it out of the way first. The beds in this place were terrible, far too hard, small and with no linen. Reception insisted that this was appropriate for the place, however I felt it was just a bit too much.

    And then there was the smell, whenever the door was opened I discovered an incredible smell and closer examination revelaed some kind of grill-covered garbage chute. Probably not the most sanitary arrangement I’d come across.

    On the plus side, when the listing on itsatrapadvisor.com said the place had secure parking, they weren’t kidding. Even valet service is handled by an industrial strength tractor beam and there was no way to remove the vehicle without making arrangements to have the beams turned off.

    This focus on security is certainly a watchword for this location, the staff seemed well trained and security were absolutely everywhere. You wouldn’t believe how many security devices were in reception alone.

    So, some pros, some cons, not bad for a layover on the way to or from Alderaan, but not a place I’d like to stay for a holiday.

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    5

13. I was kept awake all night by the CLANK CLANK CLANK of boots on the metal grating. I ordered a sleep-aid and it was delivered by a rather bulbous hovering droid. The hypodermic needle looked clean, though.

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    5

14. The screams of people being tortured by flying torture balls were the thing that most annoyed me. Will not be returning. The only way out was through a garbage shute.

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    5

15. Very secure room, but the decor was pretty bland. I did run into Jeff Vader in the canteen, but he was kinda rude and wouldn’t give me his autograph. He even threatened me with a tray! Also trash the trash collection was slow, and they claimed that there was something wrong with the compacter.

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    4

16. Bad choice for meeting chicks. Only one girl, who wouldn’t date me, because she thought I was “short”. LOOSEN UP, SISTAH!

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    4

17. Reasonably priced but smelled like hot garbage. I was looking for a warm place to sleep for my wife and 3 kids. There wasn’t much room so we had to decide who the favorites were. The kids and I buried the wife in a shallow grave the next day.

    P.S. No room service.

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    4

18. The host was more than as bit abrupt.

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    4

19. I had a terrible stay here! Tiny rooms, no privacy, constant reactor leaks and the stupid “guards” kept having weapons malfunctions! Whatever you do DON’T let the Imperials convince you their “relaxation” droids only want to give you a mild sedative! NOT COOL!

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    3

20. A bit noisy with all of the shooting in the hallway.

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    3

21. It was like living in a dump, there was nothing in the room besides a metal sheet and I still have back problems from sleeping there. And I wasn’t allowed to leave. I would sleep in a Tauntaun before going back there. There was also someone with serious breathing problems and people there were obsessed with wearing white and carrying guns. Do NOT bring children!

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22. Tried to follow the directions to find this place, but it was nowhere to be found. The x-wing gang that flew by wouldn’t stop to give me directions neither.

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    2

23. No pillows in the rooms. We also could not figure out the atelier of the genius hairdresser who had coiffed the girl who was staying in the room next to ours. We meant to ask her but she ran off with a couple of Stormtroopers and a walking carpet.

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    2

24. All of the stormtroopers are too tall, besides this one short one. Really odd. The height was intimidating and made the stay unpleasant.

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25. Atheists lacking faith are not very welcome.

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    2

26. Too many excuses for lack of service. Slight weapons malfunction. Large leak, very dangerous. Then I slipped into a trash compactor!

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    2

27. Noisy, hot and dirty. Must have served as a chop shop. Found parts from different pod racers stashed all over the place. Avoid.

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    2

28. I don’t understand why there was so much Wookie hair all over the place. Doesn’t one of those floating black globes have a swifter?

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29. Block C was disgusting. Prior tenants did not clean after themselves all at!

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    2

30. The worst tourist accommodations in the galaxy! And I’ve spent Life Day at a furry convention on Kashyyyk!!

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31. I felt the host had a grip on the situation

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32. I question the validity of the ‘secure private room’ considering any scruffy nerf herder and farm boy can waltz right in.

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33. stay tuned for version 3

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    1

34. The trash bin is not divided for recyclables!!! Also there is a lot of guards around no privacy at all

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35. In case they never tell you… there is no toilet. You sleep on a metal bed.
    Not recommended for people with bad backs or children.

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36. Make sure you locate the escape pod closest to your room. I gave one star for the light show. Bring a sweater.

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37. Everything was fine here. Just fine.

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38. There was a reactor leak when I stayed and they had to lock the place down. But we were all fine there, everthing was fine… How are you?

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39. Ok, decent size room – during my stay there was some kind of trouble with the garbage disposal.
    Apparently the compactor had got stuck – the staff were very helpful – but it was not ideal.

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    1

40. I have no idea what everyone is complaining about, this is listed as minimalist.
    At one point there was shooting and some annoying clanking, but I assumed it was training.
    The guards called to inform me that the place was going to explode, so I got a ride with the leader, Darth Vader. I was even employed as rear gunner. I got a full refund as well as free room and board at the cloud city room.

    Overall, this was a pleasant experience.

    5

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41. Would not recommend.

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