Host

Jabba the Hutt

Party-friendly accommodations with VIP throne room access

Tatooine

Rating: 2/5 stars

  • Shared room

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140 Per Night

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About this listing

No shirt, no shoes, no problem!


Description

A spacious, earthen, hedonistic resort with golden accents in all the right places. This location is ideal for spring break getaways and bachelor / bachelorette parties. Residents from across the Outer Rim can vouch for the fact that Jabba knows how to throw a party.

Reviews & Ratings

Rating: 2/5 stars

Location

Rating: 3/5 stars

Host

Rating: 1/5 stars

Featured Reviews

  1. Proprietor made changes to entertainment line-up since the first time I visited. Used to be way better. New entertainers are just over the top and their performances are unnecessarily long.

    2
    45
  2. Upon arrival, they noticed my gender and I was encouraged to “Slip into something more comfortable”. The music was SO much fun (I’ve always been a sucker for the red-ball organ!) but noticed as I was dancing, everyone was watching… especially the host who immediately made me feel uncomfortable. He demanded I continue to dance.

    I can still hear the blood-curdling shrieks from those who defied him as they were torn limb-from-body.

    I am still dancing, trying to secretly upload an S.O.S hologram.

    PLEASE if you are reading this – send help.

    0
    24
  3. Just like every other bar in the area, mostly dudes who think they are the Maker’s gift, and just a few ladies.

    2
    16
  4. I chatted up this hot, green chick at the bar.

    Said she was going to give me her number when I came back from the bathroom. But when I came back, she was nowhere to be found!

    Tease.

    4
    14
  5. Can I just say two words?! Par-TAY House!!!!! Or is that 3 words? Anyways, I love this place!
    Jabba was so funny! The guy was the life of the party. The drinks were killer man! I had a blast! Everything was just excellent. I would soooooo come back just to see him eat that frog! OMGosh when he did that I was like “Yo, bro you don’t have to do that! But heck it’s your house and you seem cool. Ya know what…go for it!”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiD-n7ewvGo

    He’s super crazy but loveable. We bonded. I’m not gonna lie. There was one point in the party (before the brought the frozen dude out) where Jabba came up to me and said “Hey man, I’m really glad you’re here. I know you’ve come a long way and I want your stay here to feel like…..family….ya know? Your special. I feel like we are gonna be good friends. No joke bro! I love you man!” I could see his eyes get watery and that’s when I knew I was gonna come back!

    Guys this place is bang’n! If you like to eat frogs, talk to weird looking creatures who look funny and a pool party in the sand where the pool has teeth and tries to eat you, then come here!!!!!!

    5
    7
  6. It’s an okay place to crash, but a couple of guests were real buzzkills: one girl looked like she wanted to throttle the guy she was with, and one guy went a bit stony. Prefer the Mos Eisley Cantina.

    0
    5
  7. Sure, the party floor is great but DO NOT make the mistake of exploring the “cultural heritage” of the place. I really messed up when I partied too much one night and decided to rest it off in the so called “monastery” they have downstairs.

    It turns out if you sign up for the full meditation experience, they give you some hard-core sensory deprivation. Which is to say…they %#@&ING LOBOTOMIZED ME!

    That’s right. The creepy cult in the basement scooped my $!#&ing brains out and put me in a droid body with no sensory input. The only way I could write this review is by force-sensitive texting.

    What a rip off!

    1
    4
  8. Tickets for the sand dune cruise were sold out and the refused to honor our vouchers. Music was good though.

    2
    4
  9. Place is pretty solid. just when you think everybody is asleep, party picks back up! Had to take one star away on account of some high pitched laughing I heard all night.

    4
    4
  10. I turned down an invitation to join in the festivities at a local Sarlacc pit because I was feeling unwell, but it’s been four days and nobody has returned. It’s only me and those weird brain-jar mechanical spiders in here. If the owner doesn’t come back, do I get to keep this palace?

    5
    3
  11. Watch out for the handsome guy in the corner that likes to pull his mask down to show his mustache. That’s Lando and he’s just trying to Land-you. Srsly. Kthxbye.

    0
    3
  12. In terms of scum and villainy, Jabba’s place makes Mos Eisley look like Alderaan. So much to do here, and it’s stuff that could never happen anywhere else. Illegal rancor fights, sex slaves, a giant torture pit out in the desert, you name it. And the people you meet there, holy crap, you wouldn’t believe me. It’s a who’s who of bounty hunters, gangsters, smugglers, an entire cross-section of the galactic crime scene.

    Nobody would ever admit to going here, but if you want to “visit a nearby system” the next time you’ve got a perverse itch to scratch, this is the place to go.

    4
    2
  13. Writing this on my phone in the party room of this establishment. So my buddy is getting married and as his best man I’m stuck with planning the bachelor party. The dude is almost 40 so I have to admit I’m a little out of that game. So I’m thinking out-of-the-way bar by the beach and I Google “secluded bar by the sand”. I see that this place has live music as well as a sponsored day excursion. I’m thinking “Jackpot!!”

    So we show up about noon thinking we’re about to get our day-long drink on and we see there’s no beach. Add to that the fact that when we open the door the dude checking ID has a some weird pony tail that looks like a worm. He takes us to the bar where the music is really hopping. Steve, the groom, was a little embarrassed to see that there was a stripper in some sort of leather at the head of the dance floor, but when we tried to pay her for a lap dance she totally acted like she didn’t want to be there. Law school my a$$! What a princess.

    I would like to lie and say that we were surrounded by ladies, but in actuality it was a total sausagefest. The ambiance was cool, especially the life size artwork on the walls. About the eighth time that some waiter said that my buddy Logan would “be of use on the master’s sail barge” we decided it was time to bounce. About then a manager came up and said we could have our own party room. That seemed like the least he could do, so we headed downstairs to the room.

    That’s where I am now and I gotta say things are looking up. Its a huge room with what looks like a killer iron gate on the far side. I’m guessing they have special events down here. There’s a weird gushing air sound from beyond the gate but I’ve gotta think that’s the AC. There’s some drunk pig faced dude over by the door who I’m guessing is the bartender. Looks like he’s on the verge of tears.

    I’ll update my review later tonight. So far so good.

    3
    2
  14. Really hard to find entrance, and there was an issue with the doorbell.
    Terrible check-in: owner was sleeping and he complained because “we disturbed him”!
    The place can be crowded and noisy at certain times: bad music!
    Disappointing! Avoid it!

    0
    2
  15. Meh. I’ve visited “hives of scum and villainy” with way more class than this joint. I was kept awake all night by some tubby guy in the room next to us. He wouldn’t stop blubbering. Something about his “beloved pet” getting killed by a Jedi. I think he must have smoked one too many death sticks. I know a Jedi when I see one and there weren’t any around during our stay.

    There were also too few facilities and features catering to the disabled. There were no left-handed notebooks on the desk in our room, for example. I also didn’t like the proprietor and my travelling companion didn’t like him either.

    2
    2
  16. This place is literally off the chain. This is a non-stop 24 hour a day party. Lead by the best hype man in the outer rim, Salacious B. Crumb. This dude is my bro his laugh is infectious.

    4
    1
  17. This place is fine as long as you’re a friend of the host, Mr. Hutt. I was even invited on a free sand cruise, sadly however, people drank to much and fell overboard into the great pit of carkoon. They now have the pleasure of being degusted over a 1000 years.

    3
    1
  18. This place has great hospitality, there is a beautiful view of my enemy frozen on a wall, and the entertaining rancor eating a singer performance every day at 3:00. Overall great place, except that nasty sarlacc next door.

    5
    1
  19. I don’t know what these guys are smoking! I took the sand dune cruise and apparently there’s something out there that digests you over a thousand years if you fall in! HA! They’re obviously unaware that you’d die of thirst within 2-3 days.

    So i took the cruise to see what all the fuss is about and it doesn’t live up, some dude ruined the whole day, got his saber out in front of everybody. Some people just can’t stay cool.

    Anyway, if someone could get me out of there that’d be great, WiFi connection isn’t great and i’m getting pretty thirsty.

    3
    1
  20. Live music, drinks and nipples! What more could you ask for. Recommend the daily excursions to the beech!

    3
    1
  21. Entertainment interesting but somewhat rowdy. Bedroom doors are heavy and not always hung on the wall. Taxi service not the best, so seek alternative transport arrangements. However, in-flights drinks were very reasonable.

    2
    1
  22. Malgré la fumée et le bruit (surtout des odeurs qui remontent de la cave, la programmation est assez sympa. On attends le Max Rebo Band pour Noël. Cool

    4
    1
  23. This place was rocking until some young punk in black and his friends blew everything up…even threw the host’s bodyguard into a sarlacc pit…such rebels!!!

    0
    0

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About the Host, Jabba the Hutt

Diabetes can slow me down but it can’t stop me from having a great time!