Featured Reviews

1. A bit of 70s vibe. Lots of bellbottoms and capes. Don’t take a wrong turn or you’ll wind up in the working-class junkyard district.

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2. What a trendy place! I had a blast. Heard someone mention some kind of spa treatment in the surrounding station that indefinitely increases your lifespan.

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3. Try to keep your distance from the railings.

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4. A great place to stay, especially with the charming host. Heard he gambled an entire spacecraft away once. We also enjoyed the people-watching here – this one guy was walking around with massive headphones that were cool 30 years ago.

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5. Luke, it’s a trap!

   Don’t stay here.

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6. What?! These other reviews are a lie! Don’t be fooled! This place may look cool in the picture but trust me it’s an architectural nightmare! You see that fountain in the middle? Thats your toilet/shower! Right in the middle! I had to share this room with a bunch of Ugnaughts for the weekend. The place ended up smelling like Mos Eisley Cantina on a Tuesday! These guys ended up eating “Chewie’s Tacos” (a restaurant in the cloud city mall) and ended up getting sick using the free standing space toilet that looks like a fountain in the middle of the room. My 3P0 Unit ended up cleaning everything and his hands ended up smelling like Ugnaughts poop for about a week!

   The owner was cool. I will say Lando was nice to keep the fridge stocked with Colt 45’s but I wasn’t expecting those crazy Ugnaughts so called friends of mine to get wasted off them and puke in the fountain toilet/shower! Again my 3PO unit had to clean it all up and de clog all the Wookie hair that was causing the toilet/shower to overflow.

   If I may make a better recommendation, Jabba’s Palace is a way better time. That guy Jabba was so cool! He pulled me aside right after that dude with the bomb was going to detonate the place and told me “Hey guy! You ok? I bet you were a bit scared. Don’t worry friend that happens here sometimes. Weirdos wanna come in and destroy you party mojo ya know. Hey, I’m really glad you’re here. You fit right in. Can I get you a frog to eat? No? You good?!”

   Super nice guy!

   Oh also I want to add that periodically Lando would come into my room while I was asleep and just stare at me making heavy breathing noises over me like Darth Vader. Not cool!

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7. Great place, unfortunately Anakin hadn’t moved out by the time I arrived: NOT COOL!

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8. I was visiting a few friends and ended up here. I had to share a room with my sister and a Wookie before my father cut my hand off later that day. 1/5 would not visit again due to a friend’s kidnapping.

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9. My wife and I had an excellent time there until some unruly child ran away from his father. Unfortunately, his father tore up the place chasing him down. The staff did nothing to prevent the situation from escalating like it did.

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10. Really loved the experience! Loved the romantic tour and the lovely restaurants. My girlfriend and I loved staying here and would definitely recommend this to others.

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11. A great place to stay, especially with the charming host. Heard he gambled an entire spacecraft away once. Also enjoyed the people-watching here – this one guy was walking around with massive headphones that were cool 30 years ago.

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12. Swanky digs, but the not-so-smooth Mr. Calrissian made it a point to show up uninvited… and was uncomfortably handsy with my lekku. Cannot recommend.

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13. Don’t go to the central atrium. It’s really windy and your hair will be *ruined*.

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14. Went there expecting a luxury apartment, however apparently the place is under new management now who have changed the accommodations. Instead of the pictured luxury apartment I was given a 3×7 room with a hard bed and very limited amenities. The new manager was some kind of cape wearing goth, and when I inquired about the room being different than pictured he told me “I have altered the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further”

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15. I tried checking out but was told by tbe host I’m never allowed to leave the city again as part of some agreement to keep the Empire out. I totally knew there was something fishy about this palce, “Other than Admirl Ackbar,” when I saw Storm Troopers messing around in the recycling area. So I’m still here. You have been warned! Stay out.

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16. Very awkward landing, as my escorts started firing on my ship without any provocation whatsoever. The guy who I booked the room with had warned me that these guys might be a bit temperamental, but that I wouldn’t have any issues as long as I kept saying ‘Lando’ into my speaker on the way in. Not fun.

    Also, I was promised a room of my own, but they stuck me in this stuffy gaudy suite with a seven foot dog who didn’t really say much and spent half the day fixing up a very obnoxious droid. The weirdest part of the room was this holographic chess-like board game called Dejarik that was sitting in the corner surrounded by a bunch of severed arms. WTF.

    But the most frustrating part of this BY FAR was this Indiana Jones lookalike in the bar downstairs who stole my chair when I went to the bathroom. When I came back and told him he was in my seat, he just looked me dead in the eye and said “I know.” Talk about rude.

    And if that’s not bad enough, when I requested my deposit back, the guy told me that the “Galactic Empire” has seized his assets and that there’s nothing he can do. Man, I’ll tell you… this deal is getting worse all the time.

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17. It was pretty but there was a rattling in the air conditioner. So, instead of calling maintenance, I just opened up the air duct and found…. a severed hand still clutching a lightsaber.

    The saber was cool but the hand was disgusting.

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18. I stayed here once with my family while we were looking for my Father !
    I did find him , certainly not what I expected and I lost my hand too . The medical droids were great about replacing it

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19. WALK WITH YOUR BACK AGAINST THE WALL!

    It’s true. The host Mr Calrissian is very handsy. We read a few of the previous comments here and decided to give this place a visit anyway. My droid and I thought he was only into female humans. Incorrect. On our first night my Droid experienced a late night visit from Mr Calrissian in a satin robe, half open. And at the breakfast table the following morning I was asked if I’d ever considered ‘jumping ship to the dark side’. Given his inappropriate exploits we wont be returning.

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20. I went here for a nice relaxing time. I really needed to get away from all things stressful. Let me tell you folks, this place did not fail to deliver. Although, I went to the bar struck out with all the ladies. Then I saw the owner, Lando Calrissian, and he was getting women left and right. He got them to sit down and share some smooth Colt .45.

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21. While the aesthetics are fantastic, there are plenty of not-so-small things that bugged me during my stay.

    First, as I arrived, everyone was running to get out. I couldn’t even disembark from my transport ship without being shoved aside by people trying to get aboard.

    Second, while it may be cool to see Stormtroopers marching around DisneyWorld, knowing that their weapons actually work here is a bit, um, disturbing.

    Third, the food was a bit chewie and I heard only recently thawed from a carbon-frozen state. I could still taste the carbon.

    Finally, the formal dining arrangements were unexpected. We had guests. Lots of them. And they didn’t appreciate my kids having any sort of devices. The “host” confiscated them with a wave of his hand. We’re seeking legal help to re-acquire them or, at least, be reimbursed.

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22. I loved this place so much. Everything was absolutely perfect… until i found Lando Calrissian hiding under the bed with a video camera. Never staying here again

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23. It was nice enough. Until Lando sold us out to the Empire and I got frozen in Carbonite. Kind of took away the enjoyment factor. Plus our droid got shot up quite bad. (Not that I have a damn)

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24. Pretty good, except for the Wookie hair all over the couch. I wish they would have at least vacuumed it first. I have nothing against Wookies, I have friends that are Wookies, I just would have enjoyed it more if it was cleaner.

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25. But one of my kids fell over the railings, that were only a few inches high.

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26. I did not like the vibe.

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27. Stay was really nice, until some guy got on the intercom and informed us that the empire was invading. Not sure what that was about, but as I was running back to my room I’m pretty sure I saw a walking carpet and a bunch of guys running to one of the landing pads. Shortly after some imperials chased after them. For enduring the whole ordeal, all they gave us was a voucher for 1 free stay and all our meals paid for.

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28. A nice place, but not for kids! They will be afraid of the heights. Plus, all the white is no-good for messy toddlers. They charge extra to clean up after them. But very chic for adults. I would stay here again, but not with bored 3 year olds.

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